just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
