I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
