So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
