My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How external is "for external use only"?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
