I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
