First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize