What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
