I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
