New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
