Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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