while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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