just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize