Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
