Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
