i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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