If i come over, it means nothing
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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