can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
this is an emotional support booty call
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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