Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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