I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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