I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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