oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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