I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
