you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize