She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
