Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
