Me too!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
