I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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