You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
