Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
