three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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