You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
