Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there's paper in my vomit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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