I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
