That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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