dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
