Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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