i just google imaged poop.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
