I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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