just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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