He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
