oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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