with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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