If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize