Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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