Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
