Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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