they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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