You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
