Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We need to get me chipped asap
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
