And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize