soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
