Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
