i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
