I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
