I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize