I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
