week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
