pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
