no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
