But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
