You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
