Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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