I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
