honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
