this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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