if i died would you start the facebook group?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize